i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize