well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
