i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My feet surprised me
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
