what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
