There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
