a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
