Umm I'm too high to move.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
