so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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