wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
