just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
