I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
