All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
that is very illegal...i love you.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize