hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He felt like a one man threesome
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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