they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize