Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize