**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
