Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
