She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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