I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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