there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
