U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
