How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
