Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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