Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
