I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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