Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
so let's talk penis.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
