she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
