I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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