I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
