You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
