this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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