Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize