Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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