some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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