I got chris browned last night
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
