As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
