And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
