Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
