Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
