It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
