Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently you make a good broom.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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