Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
