i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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