if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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