Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
