Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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