New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
