it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
