did you get engaged???
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
