NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize