you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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