it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The struggles of a small town man whore
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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