my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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