Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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