Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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