Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
