shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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