Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
