i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
