Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
