That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
