I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
