She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
