apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize