Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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