i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
