Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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