He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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