dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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