God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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